Fig Bars on Parade
Also known as fig rolls, fig biscuits or to my Father: frig biscuits. In Western Canada, the conquered land [province] of British Columbia, one may find the following brands lurking amongst all the other GMO corn-derived comestibles sold as food to peasants such as I:
The original brand! The fresher the better. Look for an expiry date at least three months ahead of today. Pastry is thin as possible, light and pleasant. Fig paste is sweet, full of seeds, and wet! Low price: $2.50 if they’re expired. Otherwise don’t pay more than $4.40-4.90.
Note: The fibre content in these is second only to the organic brand. FNs remain a medium quality nutrional product. As a snack, I’d say they rate very highly. Watch for further shrinkflation, which I prefer to a reduction in quality.
Sold at fancy places. Disappointing. The so-called stone-ground wholewheat dominates with a dry, uninspiring taste. They are sold in many flavours. I went with original ‘fig’ of course. Fig filling is lacking in taste, substance and moisture. Not enough of it either. Cost? Over 7 bucks, so fuck ‘em. Who do they think I am, bloody Rockefeller?
Compliments/Thrifty’s own brand
Mediocre-to-good quality for low cost. Needs improvement but for almost half the cost of FN, they are worth buying [only when on sale for $2.50]. Plenty in a pack too.
Low cost. Poor-to-mediocre taste. Biscuits are too large. Aftertaste isn’t pleasant. Rather synthetic.
Low cost. Little to write home about, so I won’t - my Mother already knows all about my obsessions.
Disgusting. I didn’t even finish the pack and “you know me, Barb. I eat any old shite.” 17 bars for $1. Too much fake vanilla flavouring and a cloying pastry which falls apart and sticks to your teeth and gums. Didn’t resemble food; fig content was probably a fraction of even the Carriage brand. When I offered these bars to the Ancient Egyptians, they laughed at me and said that in civilized society, we feed our slaves real figs, so they can build monuments to the gods, being spared the lash for want of exertion.